Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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