Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She just used a chaser for red wine.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
