This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
