I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
