we're blogging at a bar
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
