I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
