He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
