I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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