I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Randomize
