I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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