This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
