Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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