Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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