I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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