mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
