Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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