What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
