is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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