Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
