The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
