I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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