You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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