just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
