she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So vagazzling was a success
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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