Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Terrible idea I love it
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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