He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
