She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
