i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I had to cum in my sink.
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