just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize