Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
