She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
