She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
