Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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