you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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