Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
