There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
