nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
do nipples grow back?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
