the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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