My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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