We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
