I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
