Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
