the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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