i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
