Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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