dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
