he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
