Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
