No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it's like heaven, but drunker
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
