yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
