I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i can't believe i had my finger in that
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
