the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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