hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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