Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
